Dear tennis nerds and other No-Life,

What happened, today? Well, actually it was rather sunny and hot in Paris which was a nice change from yesterday… Thanks for asking. And if you didn’t then next time, remember to do so.

Also, some tennis took place. And believe it or not but no rain.

What’s to keep in mind?

1 – Match interrupted

But not because of the weather forecast. Somehow, we’re on the right away, I suppose.

Eastbourne – Li Na vs Alizé Cornet vs a sick woman.

Order got restored.

Li Na defeats Alizé 6-2 6-4

2 – How come?

Samantha Stosur is back. On grass.

And she won. On grass.

Against Nadia Petrova.

Samantha defeats Nadia 6-2 6-3

3 – Tennis infirmary

Tamira Paszek, Daniela Hantuchova and Magdalena Rybarikova have one point in common besides playing tennis: the three of them retired during their matches, today.

Not good to be injured before Wimbledon…

4 – About being the first seed

It doesn’t always bring luck. Ask Agnieszka Radwanska in Eastbourne. The Polish player lost to Jamie Hampton, in straight sets.

Jamie defeats Agnieszka 7-6(2) 6-2

5 – Farewell to SW19

Venus Williams announced it: she won’t be part of Wimbledon, this year. She will be greatly missed.

Her awful outfits a bit less.

…..

In other news, Dominika Cibulkova posted a ton of pictures on her Facebook official page. Nice. And yes, she is dressed on them. Unlike her profile picture.

Some Twitter drama is happening for Serena Williams. Don’t ask me what, it looks too complicated and blah for me to check at this hour of the night.

Caroline Wozniacki is surprised: after winning a match, she got a doping test. Honey, really? Why so surprised? You’ve won so rarely lately that the mere victory (over your opponent’s retirement, is it really a victory?) can sound suspicious.

Sofia Arvidsson thinks that losing is boring. Fair enough. True. Arantxa Rus must feel utterly bored right now.

Tennistically Yours,

Me.

Dear tennis nerds and other No-Life,

After the victory of Daniela Hantuchova in Birmingham and Lucie Safarova in Nürnberg, it is time for us to virtually pack again and head to Eastbourne and the impossible one to write correctly: ‘s-Hertogenbosch.

What’s to keep in mind?

1 – The rain

Seriously. Who thought that we would leave it behind?

Right when players were about to start in Eastbourne, the rain appeared. Excellent timing.

Really.

2 – Once upon a time

Once upon a time, there was a young player named Arantxa Rus. Then suddenly, she lost 17 matches in a row.

Ouch.

3 – The Ace Award goes to…

Ah. Two players, actually: Maria Kirilenko and Ana Ivanovic.

Both fired 11 aces but got a very different ending nonetheless. If Maria Kirilenko defeated Bojana Jovanovski, Ana Ivanovic lost to Elena Vesnina.

Maria defeats Bojana 7-6(5) 6-1

Elena defeats Ana 2-6 6-4 6-3

4 – 2:41′

Yes. Irina-Camelia Begu almost needed 3 hours to get the best of An-Sophie Mestach whom we all know, of course.

Irina-Camelia defeats An-Sophie 6-7(6) 6-3 6-4

5 – The Double Fault Award goes to…

Ah. Two players, just like the Ace Award: Dominika Cibulkova and Elena Vesnina.

Mind you, both won.

Dominika defeated Lourdes Dominguez-Lino 6-1 6-7(5) 7-6(3)

…..

In other news, I don’t have much news.

Lisa Raymond and Laura Robson lost in doubles. Again. Although this time around, it was close against Nadia Petrova and Katarina Srebotnik.

What else? Not much. Caroline Wozniacki practiced with Li Na but found the wind to be a bit too strong. For her moonballing, perhaps. I don’t know.

Maria Sharapova is filming with Novak Djokovic because you know, this whole thing isn’t getting old at all.

Tennistically Yours,

Me.

Dear tennis nerds and other No-Life,

My awesome tennis letter almost got compromised as my laptop screen turned to 90° a few minutes ago. Thankfully, this Exorcist moment is now over and I can talk to you about tennis.

What’s to keep in mind?

1 – The rain

It has been a constant in Birmingham this week and probably went on Sorana Cirstea’s nerves who, after the 345th match interruption, just gave up and lost to Donna Vekic in straight sets.

Donna defeats Sorana 6-2 6-1

2 – Almost

Francesca Schiavone – the brand new grass specialist – saw her run stopped by Daniela Hantuchova, today, in a marathon match that forced a change of court for others.

Daniela defeats Francesca 6-7(8) 6-4 7-6(3)

3 – The Ace Award goes to

Francesca Schiavone who fired 10 of them during that match she still lost.

See, a good first serve doesn’t make it all.

4 – Meanwhile, in Germany

Andrea Petkovic is back to another final after defeating Jelena Jankovic today in Nürnberg.

Great performance from the German after a terrible year of injuries.

Andrea defeats Jelena 6-4 6-3

5 – In the dark

Match to be finished betwen Alison Riske and Sabine Lisicki. They’re on the decisive set… Oh, suspense!

…..

Victoria Azarenka doesn’t travel First Class but with a private jet, which is the Platinum First Class somehow.

Maria Sharapova is on a promotion tour. I know, for a change. If you want some candies and are somewhere near London, head to Selfridges asap.

Thanks to Sara Errani’s withdrawa, Samantha Stosur got a grass promotion. Yes. The Australian got a promotion. On grass. Go figure.

Tennistically Yours,

Me.

Dear tennis nerds and other No-Life,

I almost had nothing to write over here. Why? Well, one more time because of the rain. Suddenly, it paralyzed the whole thing in Birmingham while only one match had been played.

And in Germany, all the players were taking forever.

But all in all, the rain went away and here we are.

What’s to keep in mind?

1 – The Ace Award

14. She hit 14 aces during her match, today. Please congratulate… Kristina Mladenovic.

And congratulate her big because she actually lost. To Daniela Hantuchova.

See. A good serve doesn’t make a match.

Daniela defeats Kristina 3-6 7-6(6) 6-4

2 – Germany clashes

After Julia Goerges yesterday, Andrea Petkovic defeated Annika Beck, today. Way to build on a Fed Cup team spirit.

Mona Barthel and Sabine Lisicki did well to sign for Birmingham instead.

Andrea defeats Annika 4-6 6-3 7-5

3 – The Double Fault Award goes to

Daniela Hantuchova who hit 10 of them during that strange match she still won against Kristina Mladenovic.

I haven’t watched it but suddenly, I deeply regret it. It must have been something.

4 – 57′

Not even an hour but Sorana Cirstea and Bojana Jovanovski were already in a third set by then. Yeah oh… You know… Why taking your time when the weather is that bad?

Sorana defeats Bojana 6-1 1-6 6-1

5 – L’italiania

Francesca Schiavone is unstoppable. On clay. She defeated Marina Erakovic in straight sets today.

Francesca defeats Marina 7-6(3) 6-3

…..

In other news, Maria Sharapova is practicing. On grass. Not sure it’s a big scoop but it’s all I have.

Caroline Wozniacki’s parents use her trophies as vases. Someone tell them they should stop bying flowers since their daughter hasn’t won anything in a while, now.

Meanwhile, Sofia Arvidsson is stalking Ben & Jerry. I think we all can excuse her, right?

Tennistically Yours,

Me.

Dear tennis nerds and other No-Life,

Life goes on in the tennis world, on grass and on clay for the ones who just can’t let go of the clay season yet.

Of course, as soon as Champagne and strawberries will appear close to them, they should be able to draw a line under that terrible red dust that goes everywhere, starting with sticking to your nails. True story.

Anyway…

What’s to keep in mind?

1 – The Double Fault Award

Mathilde Johansson was surely close to the record but it was without counting on Marina Erakovic who decided to hit 13 of them during her match against Ekaterina Makarova.

And yet she won.

Marina defeats Ekaterina 7-6(6) 3-6 6-0

2 – From clay court specialist to grass specialist

We just don’t stop Francesca Schiavone anymore. Against pretty much all expectations, the Italian is on to the third round of the tournament of Birmingham.

Okay. At the same time, she played Nadiya Kichenok.

Francesca defeats Nadiya 7-6(4) 6-2

3 – Rain delay

Although it was more of a “happy hour at the pub” delay for the Aegon Classic.

You haven’t tried their Pimm’s yet? How rude of you!

4 – 500th win

Happy celebration, Daniela Hantuchova! Of course, we won’t mention your latest defeats because ruining the party is just not us. Yet, you made History thanks to Laura Robson, today.

Daniela defeats Laura 6-3 6-4

5 – The Jankovic Express

Jelena Jankovic is doing just fine – on clay – and she wanted to let you know; in case you hadn’t got the message way back in Paris during the French Open.

The Serbian surely didn’t lose her time against Johanna Larsson.

Jelena defeats Johanna 6-2 6-0

…..

In other news, Nürnberg organized a themed players’ party and I wasn’t told. “Fairytale”. Seriously. Why did you not tell me about it earlier? We got Tinkerbell and a thousand 15 other tennis players dressed up as princesses and pirates.

Elena Baltacha got a Wild Card for Wimbledon and apparently, it didn’t please everybody. Thus, she decided to make it clear on Twitter, great land of drama within 140 characters. Wonderful.

Serena Williams talked about choosing maturity. Is she on some sort of a spiritual retreat in Florida? And yes, I did put “Florida” and “spiritual retreat” in the same sentence.

Tennistically Yours,

Me.

Dear tennis nerds and other No-Life,

Hello. Yes, we never say “hello” too many times. Today didn’t disappoint in the tennis sphere: rain, terrible matches and a few awesome results.

What’s to keep in mind?

1 – The rain

It is the signature of this season, obviously. So, Nürnberg decided to be trendy and stick to it.

So. Nice.

Matches interrupted, then delayed… It is becoming quite a classic, lately. The tour hopes that you enjoy it.

2 – The Ace Award goes to…

Madison Keys! The young American fired 12 of them during her match against Jamie Hampton in Birmingham.

Madison defeats Jamie 2-6 6-3 7-6(3)

3 – The Double Fault Award goes to…

Kristina Mladenovic! Marion Bartoli not being around, another French had to put herself under the serve spotlight. Kristina hit 10 double faults during her match against Tara Moore.

And yet she won.

Kristina defeats Tara 5-7 7-6(5) 6-4

4 – The trendy double pairing

For whatever reason, the association of Laura Robson with Lisa Raymond had made the headlines. Well, since it did, it seems like both players have not won a single match.

Oops.

Cara Black and Marina Erakovic defeat Lisa Raymond and Laura Robson 6-4 6-2 in Birmingham.

5 – Nürnberg loves long matches

5 matches lasted over two hours today in Germany. Yes, the rain delay might have helped a few but definitely not most of them.

Who knows. Perhaps the players love so much the courts out there that they try their best to stay on them as long as possible.

…..

In other very important news, Samantha Stosur is on a British Botanical Garden Tour. And why not. The Australian posted thus two pictures of her in a rose garden; a lovely poem accompanied them.

When in London, Maria Sharapova takes the tube; mostly The District and Piccadilly Lines. Of course, we all hope that she owns an Oyster Card. And a London A to Z.

Serena Williams made it to Florida. Hmm… … … Could someone remind her that the European season isn’t over yet? There is still a Grand Slam to be played, right around the corner.

Maria Kirilenko took part in a photo shoot for Glamour. Except now, we are even less sure about her new hair color. But really not.

Tennistically yours,

Me.

Didn’t you miss my long, pointless introductions?

Anyway, here’s what to keep in mind from the French Open, 2013 edition.

Drama

Like any awesome Grand Slam, we got a lot of drama. Starting with the rain. As Maria Kirilenko said it herself, it sounded like Wimbledon before showtime.

Thankfully, temperatures went up suddenly – like crazy – and this is how I found myself dealing with a huge cold.

Matches didn’t get too much delayed, in the end. Call it a miracle.

Other than the British weatherforecast, the usual French Open mess didn’t disappoint. I got stuck for 15 minutes at the entrance one day because I had an umbrella. Good think they let come in the guys with the flares a lot more easily!

Not too many conflicts between the players, I’m afraid; Hopefully, they’ll try their best in Wimbledon. On rainy days, one has to find some passtime.

Hmm what?

Besides drama, let’s all note the way Marion Bartoli talked to us about her ideal man before throwing herself in an improvised karaoke.

On Court 17, Sabine Lisicki almost killed three pigeons in one shot. What can I say… It is all about her forehand.

Like every couple of years now, Samantha Stosur loses to the third round on her favorite surface. Gisela Dulko, if you read this, this is a hommage to you, honey.

Clichés

Who didn’t ride a Vélib or go to The Eiffel Tower? The Cliché Award goes obviously to Angelique Kerber who made a wonderful montage of pretty much all the touristic places of the French capital.

Ugh.

So not surprising

Against all expectations, Serena Williams wins the 2013 edition. In straight sets.

Yet a lot less fast than the way she won her semifinal. Sorry, Sara Errani.

Although Maria Sharapova surely won the Tweet Grand Slam. Every single day or so, the Russian tweeted us something: Parisian parks, ice-cream trucks, pancakes in the gay district of Paris… God bless her.

A few pictures

And now, let’s have a little look at my awesome photographer skills.

Dear tennis nerds and other No-Life,

Of course it rained, today. Although somehow, The Weather Gods waited for the end of the day for it. Aren’t they nice.

So, somehow, tennis got played in Strasbourg and in Brussels. That means we pretty much had an overwhelming day all in all.

What’s to keep in mind?

1 – Nope

When it doesn’t want to, it doesn’t want to. So far Caroline Wozniacki hasn’t found any kind of luck on the European red clay. After having lost in Stuttgart, Madrid and Rome right from her first match, the nightmare goes on for the Dane as she loses in Brussels against Jie Zheng.

Jie defeats Caroline 6-2 6-4

2 – Uh oh

While Julia Goerges was playing her second match of the day in Brussels, the German suffered from a wrist injury and had to retire. With Roland Garros starting in a few days, let’s hope Julia will be okay.

3 – And then there was one

You remember “Ten Little Indians” by Agatha Christie? If you don’t then abandon this letter immediately and go get the book before I get angry.

Anyway…

While all the French or so were in Strasbourd yesterday, Alizé Cornet is now the only one left in the draw. So far so good for the player who comes from the French Riviera. She defeated Magda Linette in straight sets.

Alizé defeats Magda 6-3 6-4

4 – Meanwhile, at Colette

Maria Sharapova was in for a candy-signature session. How did it go? No idea. I stayed home.

5 – Philippe Chatrier

Because it sounds better than the Central even if it means pretty much the same.

Victoria Azarenka stopped by there, today. What for? A practice. And yes, take that as a scoop. Thank you.

…..

Brussels – 7 double faults for Tsvetana Pironkova but Olga Govortsova turned out to be nice enough to not let her friend break the daily record on her own. Meanwhile, Jamie Hampton fired 8 aces. And why not.

Strasbourg – 8 double faults for Misaki Doi in France. Although no big deal, she still won her match. See, future player: your serve might be bad, it doesn’t necessarily mean you already have to pack. Quite a different story for Shelby Rogers who fired 6 aces and… Lost.

What else, what else, what else… Not that much, to be honest.

Tennistically Yours,

Me.

Dear tennis nerds and other No-Life,

Let’s all sing together: “There were two sisters of County Clare, oh the wind and the rain…”. Okay so no. There weren’t two sisters of County Clare in today tennis but certainly a lot of wind and rain.

Nb. I hope you all appreciate the clever side of this wonderful introduction.

And who says rain says… Delays. Or even cancellations like in Brussels where players spent their time playing cards and getting a manicure.

But thankfully, Strasbourg was in full (disastrous) swing.

What’s to keep in mind?

1 – The Double Fault Award goes to

Camila Giorgi who hit 16 of them during her match against Marion Bartoli. Don’t be worried, the French tried to balance the whole thing by hitting 10 of them herself.

Camila defeats Marion 6-3 6-2

2 – Being Seeded

Isn’t always the best thing that can happen to you. I mean, ask Tamira Paszek. Seed #2 and she loses in the first round to Virginie Razzano, in straight sets.

Virginie defeats Tamira 6-1 6-4

3 – The French in France

They have this tendency to lose mysteriously right from the beginning. Besides Marion Bartoli, Caroline Garcia, Claire Feuerstein and Mathilde Johansson followed this tradition.

Alize Cornet and Virginie Razzano are the only survivors.  But for how long?

Suspense, suspense.

4 – Make It Last

Rain delays? No problem. But once on court, the players will definitely take their time there. And I mean it.

Three matches lasted over 2 hours today; two out of these three lasting over 2 hours and a half, actually.

5 – Make It Short

Virginie Razzano doesn’t seem to really like point 4 of this letter so she made it as short as possible and stayed on the court for an hour and 5 minutes.

We never know when the rain is going to strike again so the faster the safer.

…..

In other news, I have no news.

Maria Sharapova will be responsible of the French’s tooth problems starting tomorrow at 4pm at the trendy store Colette. In a word, she will launch her Sugarpova there.

What else… I don’t really know. Everyone is here and around complaining about the rain and let’s face it, it’s rather understandable and fair. The French Open is pretty much screwed on this one.

Tennistically yours,

Me.

1. Serena Williams – Roland Garros
2. Maria Sharapova – Roland Garros
3. Victoria Azarenka – Roland Garros
4. Agnieszka Radwanska – Roland Garros
5. Sara Errani (+1) – Roland Garros
6. Li Na (-1) – Roland Garros
7. Petra Kvitova (+1) – Roland Garros
8. Angelique Kerber (-1) – Roland Garros
9. Samantha Stosur (+1) – Roland Garros
10. Caroline Wozniacki (-1) – Brussels, Roland Garros
11. Nadia Petrova – Roland Garros
12. Maria Kirilenko – Roland Garros
13. Marion Bartoli (+1) – Strasbourg, Roland Garros
14. Ana Ivanovic (-1) – Roland Garros
15. Roberta Vinci – Brussels, Roland Garros
16. Dominika Cibulkova – Brussels, Roland Garros
17. Sloane Stephens – Brussels, Roland Garros
18. Jelena Jankovic – Roland Garros
19. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova – Roland Garros
20. Carla Suarez Navarro (+2) – Roland Garros
21. Kirsten Flipkens – Brussels, Roland Garros
22. Ekaterina Makarova (-2) – Roland Garros
23. Klara Zakopalova – Roland Garros
24. Julia Goerges (+1) – Brussels, Roland Garros
25. Lucie Safarova (+2) – Roland Garros

Top 25 Women’s Tennis
Throwback Rankings
May 19, 2003

1. Serena Williams
2. Kim Clijsters
3. Venus Williams
4. Justine Henin-Hardenne
5. Amelie Mauresmo
6. Lindsay Davenport
7. Jennifer Capriati
8. Chanda Rubin
9. Daniela Hantuchova
10. Jelena Dokic
11. Anastasia Myskina
12. Monica Seles
13. Elena Dementieva
14. Eleni Daniilidou
15. Magdalena Maleeva
16. Ai Sugiyama
17. Amanda Coetzer
18. Meghann Shaughnessy
19. Patty Schnyder
20. Elena Bovina
21. Lisa Raymond
22. Vera Zvonareva
23. Anna Pistolesi
24. Conchita Martinez
25. Nathalie Dechy